The Missed Opportunity in Wealth Conversations

It can be hard to crack the code on talking to HNW clients about giving their money away when they (and you!) are primarily focused on earning and growing wealth. Let’s help untangle this for you, shall we?

Cracking the (nut) code on philanthropy conversations.

Your HNW clients, Joanna & David, just went on their umpteenth international vacation of the year … but they never talk about giving money away. Not even a casual, “We were at a gala last weekend” slip. You wonder: Is it awkward to bring up philanthropy if they haven’t?

Short answer: Nope. Only if you make it weird.

Let me explain.

Strategic philanthropy isn’t just about tax write-offs or naming wings at universities and hospitals (although those are nice perks if you’re into that). For your high-net-worth clients, giving can be a deep source of meaning, legacy, and—let’s be honest—a way to make dinner parties more interesting.

But how do you start the conversation? 

1. Don’t lead with guilt. Lead with curiosity.

“Have you thought about what kind of impact you want your wealth to have beyond your family?”

It’s not a trap - it’s a genuine question! One that opens a door instead of pushing an agenda. And it frames philanthropy not as an obligation, but as an opportunity—something thoughtful, creative, maybe even fun.

2. Make it about them. 

“What issues or causes have mattered to you over the years? Where did those interests come from?”

You’re not talking about philanthropy, you’re talking about them - and as we know, most people enjoy talking about their passions.

3. Drop the jargon.

If you say “donor-advised fund” or “charitable remainder trust” too soon, it’s like talking about prenups on the first date. Instead, try: “There are some really flexible ways to set aside money for giving—no pressure, just options. Want to see what that might look like?”

You’re still doing the important tax-advantaged planning wizardry. But now you’re doing it in plain English, and that’s a gift in itself.

*****

It’s possible your clients won’t be ready to dive into the mechanics or make any decisions, but that they are ready to talk about their values when you broach the topic. That’s still a win! Philanthropy, like relationships, is a long game. Plant the seed now, and when they feel ready to discuss further, they’ll remember that you opened the door.

Your clients want to do more with their money. Sometimes they just need the right person to say: Hey, what if you could?